Monday, September 28, 2015

An Unexpected Moon

Goodness, I never know how to start one of these darn things. Or maybe I'm just distracted. The acapella production, that is Pitch Perfect 2, is stealing my focus. (New life goal: Learn how to do the thing they do with their voice to make it do cool stuff.)
Yet amidst all the distraction I had a story that I needed to tell. It felt only right. My fingers were yearning to be above keys, typing away at words that I needed to flow so effortlessly, Yet they aren't effortless today which is making me frustrated and close to powering down every word document on this thing. 
But I have to write today. 
I can feel it. 
I can feel the words and they are beautiful and need to be typed down so they don't overwhelm me later on. 
Last night was one I will forever think back to. We only get a couple of those in a lifetime. Those evenings that start so unassuming yet turn so magical. For obvious reasons you can assume I'm merely relating my evening watching the blood moon, that caused much hype around the world. 
Yet it goes much farther. 
I wasn't as excited as I probably should have been. Many have anticipated the glory, even perhaps the aftermath of such a sight. Yet I barely gave it any thought. Perhaps I had other things on my mind, perhaps I didn't want to join the bandwagon out of spite. Whatever the reason, I didn't care. 
It was the moon, how could the moon improve? 
Something in me changed, though,
As the evening went on, I found myself yearning for an adventure. I get this way on occasion. This overwhelming urge to run away, start over, do something, anything that I've never done before, maybe will never do ever again, so I can feel alive. 
It started as a simple evening. A friend of mine invited me over to watch a movie, and do what we usually do- nothing. And it is always such a refreshing time. Yet this particular evening I was feeling the urge to run. Mia decided to join me. 
So we ran. And it was everything I needed it to be. 
As we dove into my little car we took off on our trip to the moon. 
And it was glorious. 
As we drove away, which felt very far, I felt myself feeling invigorated. 
The lyrics to M83's "My Tears Are Becoming a Sea" was playing as we ran. It made me drive faster. 
We found ourselves minutes later in a dark parking lot, sitting in the grass, contently silent. The only sounds we heard, were the passing cars. Each one on its own journey, and each one with another story. I found myself writing them in my head. The grey prius was heading home to a homecooked meal, and the red Saturn was on a search for ice cream for their loving wife. 
We didn't break the silence for a centuries. It was a happy silence. It was a comforting silence that didn't need to be fixed with meaningless chatter. So instead of meaningless chatter, we filled it with meaningful stories and comforting words. 
I realized in that moment that when I felt the urge to run away, I should always take someone with me. A silent partner that wouldn't mind listening to depressing songs that make me sob, and the rambling that sometimes racks my voice with episodes of fairy tales and strange dreams. 
So as Mia and I stared at the moon that was growing ever more red and we looked up at the stars that shined even more bright, I smiled. Which turned to a giggle. Which then turned to full blown laughing. 
I knew it was due to my running on exhaustion and only one meal, yet it felt so good. 
Mia didn't question it, and joined in with as much fervor as I. 
It was unplanned, this happiness, and it was surprising. Yet it sure was something I won't forget. 
Who knew I could actually pull out all these words. I never know what will come of my sitting down at the keyboard. Yet I suppose this will have to do. 
Oh, and if you want to see the moon or you're expecting a National Geographic worthy shot please just visit National Geographic. iPhone, you're better than this...



Thursday, September 17, 2015

How to Fail/ Win at Life

Who better to take advice from than the expert, right?
And this is definitely a topic I excel in.



1. Don't face reality in the face. Rather face it's back-side, that way you can hide from it and never come to terms with anything, ever happening in your life. Some people call this 'denial', or 'delusion'.
2. Avoid people that live in 'reality', these people are dull and only serve to crush your delusional, blissful way of life. These people live in a black pit of realistic expectations. You don't need that in your life.
3. People are 'literally' the worst. Remember this and let it lull you to sleep at night. They like "chatting" with you, and "caring" about you. What's that all about? Get a life people!
4. When people give you compliments don't merely say 'thank you'. Proceed to explain every minuscule detail you can think of, about whatever they complimented you on. Where you got it, when, how much it cost, what material it's made of, a funny/ interesting story about it, etc.
5. Never leave the house without a book. This way in any uncomfortable/boring/stressful situation you have any easy escape. (This step goes hand in hand with step 1- 'delusion'.)
6. Keep a journal and write about every feeling you have ever felt, and read the entries over and over again to remind yourself of your miserable existence.
7. When you do hang out with people make sure you do or say something really uncomfortable or embarrassing, then they won't invite you anywhere anymore and you are free to stay home and write in your 'feelings journal'. ("Dear Diary, Today I tripped and fell while carrying a tray full of cupcakes at a graduation party. I destroyed all of the cupcakes with my face and most of my body and have died part of my hair green. At least now I won't have to socialize for awhile. Sincerely, McKenzie XOXO)
8. Go to bed at 9:30pm because you're an "early riser".
9. Stare off into space a lot, then realize you have been staring at a stranger for a good 10 minutes. Stare angrily at them for another 5 minutes so they think you were challenging them to an old fashioned show down.
10. Stare at people purposefully...people like it...even if they say they don't...
11. Drop things. Computers, phones, pianos, cats, dogs, babies, food, anything you can get your hands on.
12. Adopt a cat. Cats are God's gift to socially inept people, enjoy the company.
13. If you don't have confidence- fake it! "McKenzie, you look very nice today." "Yes, I know." 
14. Spend an entire day speaking in gibberish. It's fun. It breaks up the monontonous life you have. (Accents are accepted too.) If people have a problem with it, speak even louder and they will love it.
15. And finally- be yourself. Yet not completely yourself. More like an improved version of yourself. Yourself 2.0. Yourself plus Kanye West. Scratch that, yourself minus any trace of Kanye West. 

You can throw those self help books goodbye! (Considering people still buy those things..."Here, read about how I overcame loserhood and am now killing it in adulthood. Pay no attention to the fact that I'm merely writing about my embarassing life stories and getting paid for it. Maybe one day you can become just like me.") 

*McKenzie Porter is not responsible for any harm or loss of friends/ self respect you may lose after listening to her advice. She is not a certified person to take advice from, nor does she back up any of the above written material. Accept maybe #12 because she loves cats and really wants one.*